Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear
by Orochi Mel
Summary: Escaflowne, meets MTV's Fear...basically a summary in itself!!! CHAPTER FIVE IS FINALLY FINISHED AND POSTED!!! Rejoice, my children! ^_^ Rated PG-13 for some mental unstability, and potty mouth!
1. Default Chapter

Escaflowne Meets Mtv's FEAR 

Disclaimer: Sometimes…horrible things happen. Like, when you find out you truly don't own…well…anyone. I found out the tragic fact, that I do not own the Escaflowne characters…I was in therapy for three weeks. Realization struck me like a fist, when I found out, that they belong to Sunrise…I will never forget that day. Mtv's Fear, also belongs to MTV, but that's a no-brainer…So, whoever may read this…do not sue me…the only crime I am guilty of, is drinking too much Sprite. (P.S. Sprite belongs to Coca-cola or whatever, so don't hate me! Love!!!) 

A/N: Please, I beg of you not to ask why. This idea, is all the work of Mtv, and too much caffeine. I just figured that the Escaflowne characters, at one of the fear locations would be really funny. But you know…with the help of my good friend Kelsh, she recommended that I use "A Haunted All Boys Ballet Academy." This idea made me almost die laughing!!! So please, if you will, enjoy Melissa's parody of Escaflowne meets Mtv's Fear….*WARNING* SOME SPOILERS MAY LIE AHEAD…*SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS* Don't say I didn't warn you!!!!! 

Each of them were kidnapped…all taken away, with white bags on their heads…

"Hi…My name is Kanzaki Hitomi, and I can promise you, that I did NOT want to be here!" The man recording her winced. "You're s'posed to say your age, and where you're from!" Hitomi glared into the camera. "I'm fifteen years old, and from Japan. There, are you happy?" Hitomi then stuck her tongue out at the camera. 

"Good day, and welcome to "Ladies Man" with Allen Schezar. I'm your host, Allen Schezar." The camera man sweatdropped. "Mr. Schezar, this is Mtv's Fear, not Ladies Man…" Allen looked surprised "It isn't? Dammit…the Americans promised me my own show." Allen paused to regain his stature. "I'm Allen Schezar, twenty one years of age, from Asturia, and very, very single. Are there going to be any women on this trip, sir?" The camera man turned off the camera, before Allen could say any more. 

The next man sat with his hands clasped tightly. "My name, is Folken Fanel. I am twenty five, and from the country of Zaibach. I like music, and flowers, and good times. I'll always remember the good times, with my cute little brother, Van. He gets grouchy often, especially when he forgets his paxil." Folken waved and flashed a cheesy smile. "What are we doing anyway?" 

"Chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…chiku…" The young boy stroked the scar on his cheek. "Excuse me young man…but what does that mean?" The boy looked up, his garnet eyes flared. "Are you questioning me? You dragged me all the way out here, with a bag on my head, which messed up my beautiful hair, and you are questioning me?!" The silver-haired albino got out of his chair, and slapped the camera man. "CUT!" He yelled. A black slate clicked in front of the screen, that said 'take two', as the boy, who was now bound to the chair with ropes, struggled to get out. "Now, what is your name, age, and location, boy?" The boy grinned sadistically. "Dilandau Albatou, fifteen rotations of the phantom moon, and from Zaibach." The camera man threw his hands in the air, "Success!!! The boy finally cooperated! Get the tranquilizer gun, now!" 

A young girl with pink hair, pawed carelessly at a string dangling in front of her. She stopped, and looked at the camera. "My name is Merle Fanel." She licked the top of her hand playfully. "Well…it would be, if I married Van! I am thirteen rotations of the phantom moon, and from Fanelia. That's where Van is King! Lord Van is so cute. For our wedding, there will be flowers, and mice, and all that good stuff!" The camera man cut quickly to end the cat-girl's rants.

The next boy, had messy raven colored hair, and glared at the camera. "My name…is Van Fanel, King of all Fanelia. And you BETTER watch your backs, because I forgot my happy pills!" The camera man, who was left nameless, yelled. "What's your age?!" Van clenched his fists. "I WASN'T FINISHED!!! But, I'm fifteen rotations of the phantom moon, the same age as my dear, Hitomi. I love Hitomi, but I don't think she knows. Don't tell her, kay?" 

The final fear contestant, a young blonde haired girl smiled, with her eyes closed. "I am Princess Millerna Sara Aston. Fifteen rotations of the Phantom Moon. From the country of Austuria. There are a lot of fifteen-year-olds, now I think of it." The camera man, already annoyed by the dumb blonde, said. "Come on let's go! Finish up" Millerna faced the camera, with tears welling up in her eyes. "But I love Allen!" she yelled. The MTV crew carried her away. "Goodbye, Sister!" She yelled as they dragged her away. 

So there they were, the seven contestants of fear, all in the same van, with the same bags on their heads, and on their way to the haunted location. "Are we there yet?" Millerna yelled. Allen jumped in his seat. "YES! There are girls on this trip!" Hitomi then spoke up. "I think the scary part about this trip is that we don't know who is under each of these bags. I'm a little worried to find out myself." Van squirmed in his seat. "Hitomi? Is that…you?" Hitomi had a look of surprise on her face…which obviously could not be seen. "Van! I'm so happy you are here!" Dilandau cackled. "VAN!!! WHERE!?!?! I MUST KILL HIM!!!" The man driving the van was furious…let's just say his name was…John. He banged on his seat. "All of you just better shut up! You aren't s'posed to know who yeh are!" The van stopped, and John led them all out of the car.

"You can all take those bags off your heads now." John said irritated. He pointed to a small house. "That's the safe house, you stay there." With that, he turned the van around, and left. Everyone took the bags off of their heads. Hitomi and Van hugged. Dilandau stood with his arms crossed. Merle clung to Van. Folken read a newspaper. Allen and Millerna, were already making out. "This is going to be so boring" Dilandau said feeling very alone. Folken, assuming the role as leader, cleared his throat. "I believe, that we should head to the safe house!" Van shoved his brother. "Who died and made you leader!?" Folken got up, and dusted himself off. "Well no one else was taking action." Dilandau glared. He then walked over to Folken and Van, and slapped them. "Would you two just shut the hell up?! I'll be the leader. Get your stuff together, and follow me!!!" Everyone, too afraid to say no, got their things together, and finally made it to the safe house.

Hitomi, who was somehow standing next to Dilandau, not afraid, opened the door. Inside the abandoned room, was a small laptop, a bunch of cameras, and a lot of snacks. Dilandau smirked, looking at the supply of food that could last weeks, and slapped Van on the back. "Maybe you can finally gain some weight, bulimic boy." Van glared at Dilandau. "I'm not bulimic! At least I have one set gender!" Dilandau cringed. "Huh?" Everyone looked around, with innocent expressions. "Oh, it's nothing." Hitomi kicked Van, "You weren't supposed to say anything, you big…dork." Hitomi then ran over to the computer, being the only one with knowledge of that sort of thing. "It says, that we each need to pick a color out of that bag, so it can represent us." Everyone crowded around the bag, and picked their colors at the same time. Hitomi, got blue. Folken, got black. Dilandau got red, to which this he celebrated, chanting "Moero." Millerna got yellow. Allen got green. Merle got purple, and Van, got pink. Merle tried to console a now, very grouchy Van. "I'll trade you, Lord Van." Van shook his head. "That's okay Merle." 

Hitomi then continued to type on the computer. Folken walked up to her. "What is that?" He asked with curiosity. Hitomi pointed a finger in the air, and said in a "matter-of-factly" tone, "It's a computer!" Folken looked at her. "Ah…A comfooder. We must invent some on Gaea." Hitomi didn't even bother to correct Folken. "It says that we all have to get our color equipment on, and the color with the first dare, is…Pink! Navigator Red!" Dilandau jumped. "I…get to be the navigator…for Van? HA HA HA!!! I will lead him to his very doom!" Van put his camera on. "What the hell is this thing?" He said out loud. Hitomi, who was making sure everything was ready, told him it was a 'camera' . Folken jumped up to Hitomi and Van. "What's a Canera? Is it a place where they can food? I must see one!" Hitomi rolled her eyes. "No offense Van…but I think your brother could use a hearing aid." With that, they sent Van out the door, and on his way…to the haunted school…

"Hello VAN! You are going to DIE!!!" Dilandau said over the walkie-talkie. This was not very reassuring to Van. "Screw you!" He retorted. Van could hear Hitomi in the background, telling Dilandau to say the right things. Van could see his breath, as he nervously inched towards a huge building. A crooked sign on the front of the building, read "Harmony All Boys Ballet Academy" Van looked into the camera. "This is the dumbest thing…" Dilandau cackled on the other side of the walkie-talkie, "Van! Are you at a sign that says "Harmony All Boys Academy?" Over." Van started to get scared. "Yeah…what do I do? Over." Dilandau ignored Van. "YOU STUPID PYRO! WHAT DO I DO?!" Dilandau's tone change to sarcastic, "So, I'm stupid, huh? I guess I'll just lock you out of the safe house and steal…no kill your girlfriend. Over…" Van swallowed hard. "Hitomi! You better not hurt her!" Dilandau popped a pretzel in house mouth. "Yeah yeah…just get your skinny ass in there, and I'll let you know. Over…" Van opened the doors. 

A/N: YEAH! End of chapter one!!! I hope you liked it!!! Please please review. Be nice! If I get at least 10 positive reviews, I PROMISE I'll write some more! I know it isn't very funny yet, but it will be eventually. Forgive any typos I may have over-looked too, please! 


	2. Escaflowne Meets MTV's' Fear, Chapter 2

Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear; Chapter 2

A/N: Back By Popular Demand!!! No, just kidding…Well, I heard that more than ten of you all want me to write more of Escaflowne meets MTV'S Fear! I was really excited, considering that I really WANTED to write more! You know…my favorite part about writing this story, is the Van and Dilandau fights…yep…those are pretty darn fun. Well…I'll stop ranting for a bit…and start writing! 

Random spoilers may occur…*SPOILERS SPOILERS* Consider yourself warned!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in my story!!! Don't sue me! 

Van opened the doors, and walked in. He looked around as the doors then swung backward, hitting him in the butt. Van let out a girlish yelp. Dilandau laughed over the walkie-talkie. "Are you okay, Femmy? I'll be sure to have your favorite color nail polish out as soon as you get back, maybe we can even play truth or dare!" Van cut Dilandau off. "Shut the hell up! God! I'd like to see how good you do in here, you freak!" Dilandau then made his voice considerably higher, "Is little baby-boo boo scared? Does he want his blankey?" Van was enraged. "Do you have to be so annoying? Now do you see why everyone hates you?!" Dilandau, who wasn't bothered in the least, laughed. "Van, dear…If I were you, I'd just shut up." Hitomi slapped Dilandau over the top of the head. "Would you just tell Van the dare! God!" Dilandau glared at Hitomi. "Did you just hit me?" Hitomi shook her head. "Of course not!" 

"Okay…okay…okay…Van your dare is, to go into the main hall. You will be given further instructions as soon as you reach it. Over." Van smiled, half-heartedly. "Sounds easy enough…Where is the main hall?" Dilandau was thinking…Should I let him get lost…or should I just be…decent for once…? Surprisingly, Dilandau decided to give him the proper instructions. "Okay, Van…You will see a long hallway in front of you…" Van nodded to himself. "Yeah, I see it." A chill ran down Van's spine. "Van, walk down the hall, all the way to room number twenty-nine. I repeat, twenty-nine." Van walked down the hall, and took in the surroundings. He came up to door number twenty-nine. "Now what?" Van asked a bit nervously. "Go into the room, and obtain the black bag, which should be on the center stage." Van opened the door slowly, and precariously. 

The door squeaked open loudly. "Van, was that you being a girly-mouse again?" Van rolled his eyes. "Shut up…Just shut up…it was the door!" Van looked around at the stage, the bright light, from his camera, creeping over the scenery, creating eerie shadows. "I don't want to do this…I don't want to do this!" Van sniffled. He then took in all the gumption he had, and ran up to the stage. He walked up the stairs on the left side of the stage, looking every which way, except for down. He tripped over a torn curtain, and fell to the floor with a thud. "ACK!!! Damn curtain ghost!!!" Dilandau could barely hold in his laughter on the other end. "Van, be sure not to get yourself killed out there, because I want to be the one to have the honor." Van grabbed the black tote bag, which was on the stage. Then he began to hear frightening music on the piano…

Van ran out the door, as fast as he possibly could. "KAMI-SAMA KAMI-SAMA KAMI-SAMA!!!" Dilandau couldn't hold in his laughing anymore. "HEY! SHRIMP-BOY! DID THE CURTAIN GHOST GET YOU?!" He laughed hysterically, so hard, he fell backwards, out of his chair and on the floor. Van ran through the ballet academy, as quickly as humanly possible. "It's gonna get me! The scary music is going to get me!" By now, Dilandau was wiping tears from his eyes, he was laughing so hard. "Oh…my…God…I can SO black-mail Van with this!" Van exited the school and made his way to the safe house, with the black tote bag in hand. 

Van swung open the door of the safe house recklessly. Everyone stared at him, with blank expressions on their faces. "You guys do not even have the slightest idea how scary that was!!" Merle ran over to Van, and licked his face. "Oh, Lord Van! I was so worried! That dumb albino was scaring me too! With his bunny eyes!" Dilandau, who had just stopped laughing walked over to Van and Merle. "Congratulations, you are the biggest wuss I know!" Dilandau then switched his glare to Merle. "…and I don't have rabbit eyes! At least I don't have a cat body!" Hitomi looked at the computer screen, "The next dare, is for green!" Allen jumped up, "Good! Finally a little bit of excitement…no offense, Princess." Millerna flashed a smile. "Oh Allen…I don't mind. I'd do anything for you." She stared at him, dazed. "Who is the dictionary?" Folken asked curiously. Hitomi looked at him, cocking her head to the side. "Um Folken…I think you mean the director."

Folken nodded. "Yeah! Yeah! That!" Hitomi clicked on one of the icons. "The director, is…Black." Hitomi then moaned. "Oh great…That means you Folken." Folken thrust his metal claw in the air. "Yes! I will be able to operate the comfoo- I mean…" He paused to clear his throat. "Computer." Allen got his equipment on hurriedly. 

"Okay, Allen…" Folken began. "You must bring that tote bag with you, and you cannot look in it, at all costs!" Van, and Dilandau, were sitting in a corner, sharing a huge jar of dill pickles. "These are tart…hey! They're kinda like piscus." Dilandau took a bite of the pickle. "Ugh! It tastes like crap! What the hell is that thing?!" He asked, as he threw it at Millerna. Millerna, who had just been hit, in the back of the head with a pickle, was a bit annoyed. "Who threw that?!" she asked, threateningly. Dilandau whistled innocently. Millerna glared, and went back to her interior decorating. For once, Dilandau and Van were snickering over the same thing.

Allen ended up at the same doors Van had just been at. "Folken, what am I supposed to do? I'm at a really creepy sign that says…Harmony all BOY-!" Allen stopped. "ALL BOYS?! WHAT!? NO GIRL GHOSTS?!" Folken sweat-dropped. "Allen…it's okay…you have the Princess for you hear." Allen wiped the small amount of perspiration that was surfacing on his forehead. "Allen, your dare, is also to go into the main hall. I will give you further instructions when you get there." Allen put his hands on his hips…the heavy camera made him feel so…un-sexy. "How am I supposed to get there, Folken?" Folken chuckled. "Oh, yeah…I kinda forgot. Okay, go down the hall in front of you, until you reach room number twenty nine." Allen walked through the hallway, not scared in the least. He was still disappointed that no female ghosts would be hitting on him. He reached number 29, and opened the door. 

"Okay, Allen, your dare is to take the contents of the bag out, and wear them." Allen heaved a sigh of relief. "Is that all?" Folken scrolled down on the computer. "No…just get dressed, and I'll tell you the rest. "Allen, who now had a smile on his face pulled the suit out of the bag. He held it in front of his face, and nearly turned blue. "Are you…serious…?" He asked Folken. "Yes, it says to put on the contents of the bag…" Allen looked at the garment, and then back into the camera. The "clothing" that Allen had to put on, was a pink fluffy tutu, white tights, and slippers. He laughed to himself. "There is no way in hell I'm doing this." Allen headed back towards the safe house. "Folken…I'm coming home." 

Allen arrived at the front door. "You guys…I swear. I am so out!" Everyone looked at Allen. Millerna walked over to Allen. "But sweetie, why? Isn't my love good enough for you?" Allen looked at her oddly. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm just going to go back to Gaea…this is too…stupid for me." Millerna nodded, "Well, if you are going, I am too!" And with that, the odd couple left, and didn't come back. Folken then clicked both Millerna and Allen off, and continued back to the main Fear screen. The computer then showed a bunch of clips of "mediums" that talked about the spirits of the school. This made the now smaller group of people even more scared. 

Everyone who was now very tired of hearing old ladies talk about haunted 'mumbo jumbo' decided to go back to the main fear screen. The computer showed a new notice. "Colors GREEN, and YELLOW have forfeited, therefore, RED must complete GREEN'S dare." Dilandau's heart sunk. "I have to…go…?" He then grinned somewhat crazily. "Will there be things to buuuuuuuurn?" Dilandau slowly got up, dusting off cracker crumbs that covered his uniform. "I haven't hunted dragons in a long time…this ought to be fun." Van poked Dilandau's shoulder. "Um…Dilandau…you are hunting ghosts…not dragons…" Dilandau ran a hand through his platinum hair. "Oh yeah! I kinda forgot. I'm so used to wanting to kill you, Van! Don't think I'm your friend now though, you still better watch your back." He then paused, and pointed a finger at Van. "Don't play with fire…you might get burnt." He put his equipment on, and strutted out the door. 

A/N: How'd you like it??? That chapter was far too much fun for one girl to write ^_^ I'd like to thank everyone very much for wastin- I mean, using their time wisely, by reading my story! This time I'll make it easy. Five more reviews, and I'll give you all chapter three. How 'bout them cookies? 

Lot's O Love,

Mel

P.S. Forgive any typos that have gone overlooked, please! ^_^;


	3. Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear, Chapter 3

Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear

A/N: Here it is, minna-san! The BIG one…in this chapter, one of our bishounen may be slipping into something a bit more comfortable…::cough cough:: Well…you never know. Back by somewhat popular demand, yet again, is Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear, and thank you ALL sooooo much for the reviews, IF YOU ARE GOING TO READ A PRODUCT OF MY STRANGE MIND, PLEASE REVIEW IT!!! I have over 200 hits on this story and only 25 reviews!!! A little absurd if you ask me! I'm getting tougher now though, and I'll take tough reviews, so give me all your flames and grief, I'll take it like the man I am not. Oh, and a special thank you to gabidilandau15@escaflowne.cc for the unique idea of Escaflowne meeting the real world…hmm…sounds interesting. Perhaps one day I'll try it.

Disclaimer: Yadda yadda…everyone just wants me to get on with it. I don't own anyone, except for Dilandau! No, just kidding, all the other Dilly fans are probably going to kill me now, but I don't care! ::kidnaps Dilly:: Everyone stay back!!! ^.~

As Dilandau left, Hitomi looked at the wall clock that was in the safe house. It was already three o'clock A.M. Hitomi had the unfortunate job of directing Dilandau, which was something she was not looking forward to. Hitomi then looked at Van with a smile on her face, "Well…you know if Allen chickened out on this dare, maybe Dilandau will too…That would be beneficial for us all, eh?" Van looked at her somewhat crossly. "He isn't that bad. Don't make fun of him, he's had a screwed up life." Hitomi put her finger to the tip of Van's nose, stopped, then flicked it. "I have no idea what has gotten into you, Van. Since when where you Dilly's friend?" Van crossed his arms. "Since when have you called him 'Dilly' ?" Folken walked over to the feuding couple. "Did anyone ask for a loooooooove doctor? Because here I am." Van narrowed his eyes at Folken. "Go away, brother. Stop being stupid." 

Dilandau walked towards the abandoned building. It was cold, and wet outside, which was not Dilandau's favorite choice of weather. "This sucks…I'm wet, and I left my lighter back at the safe house." He then paused, before entering the doors. "Woman! Pick up the damn talk-a-ma-bobber!" Hitomi picked up the walkie-talkie. "I have a name you know…it's Hitomi, and the 'talk-a-ma-bobbers- are walkie-talkies…strange child." Dilandau rolled his eyes. "Just get on with the dare, girl." Hitomi read the screen. "Walk to room 29. By now you should know which one this is." Dilandau walked into the abandoned ballet academy. He looked around somewhat nervously, after all, none of his dragonslayers were there to protect him now. He reached room '29'. Dilandau had thoughts storming through his mind…'I absolutely **CANNOT** quit my mission, no matter what it is…because Van will think I'm a wuss-femme like him…which I am not!' 

Hitomi picked up her walkie-talkie, "How are you doing, Dilly?" Dilandau winced. "What did you call me, HITOMI?" Hitomi chortled, "I called you Dilly. Isn't that cute?" Dilandau crossed his arms, "No it is not!" Hitomi stopped laughing. "Okay, Dilly, are you there yet?" Dilandau nodded, "Yeah yeah…let's just get on with it, what do I do next?" Hitomi smiled wickedly, "Your dare is the same as Allen's. Go into the main hall, and you'll see a black tote bag in the middle of the stage…Look inside that tote bag, and put on whatever the heck is in it." Dilandau ran into the room, and stopped in front of the stage. It was eerie looking, with its' odd statues, and broken lights. Dilandau ran up the stairs on the left side of the stage, and tripped over a torn curtain (déjà vu?). "Dammit!!! You have ruined my perfection!" He then slapped the curtain…which just billowed in the gentle breeze, as if to mock him. "Are you making a mockery of my perfection!? HOW DARE YOU!!!" Hitomi looked at Van, puzzled. "Dilandau…who the hell are you talking to?" Dilandau panting, venting his anger, "The damn shredded thing! GRRR!" 

Dilandau inched his way to the middle of the stage, and opened the bag. "What the hell?! I have to wear…_THIS_?!" Dilandau held the tutu in front of himself. Dilandau whimpered into the camera. A smile played on Hitomi's face, as she cunningly added her own touch to the dare. "…and you can't take whatever it is off until we see it." Dilandau plopped to the ground, as tears welled up in his eyes. "Why…? Why me…? Do I deserve this…?" Dilandau could have sworn he heard a voice say 'Yes'. "Shut the hell up!!! Stupid wall ghosts!!!" Dilandau then paused…and sniffled. "Am I allowed to turn off the camera…when I'm err…in my…undergarments?" Hitomi shook her head. "No, dear…sorry." Dilandau looked into the camera very unenthusiastically, and slid off his jacket. His undershirt came next, boots, then his pants, but he did use his long jacket to cover himself up, while he changed into the tutu. The tutu was tight, and very chafing, as Dilandau stood up, and added the finishing touches; the crown, and the star wand. "Now what, you dumb broad?!" Hitomi scoffed. "Now…now…you must dance…" Dilandau's jaw nearly dropped to the ground. 

"Awww…come on, Dilly I bet you look really…*giggle* CUTE!!!" Dilandau growled. "As soon as I get back, I'm going to kill you, and your little Draconian too! Well…anyway, how am I supposed to dance?" Hitomi shrugged. "Just do whatever, I guess." Dilandau propped his camera up on a tripod, which just so happened to be there, and ran back to the stage. He then started dancing, he jumped, span, shuffled, did everything he possibly could. He then started waving his wand around in the air, and singing a song which consisted of all "Laaa's." Hitomi looked at Van, "He's getting way too into this!" She said, in a confused manner. "I know, that is so not like him…What's next, he's gonna become obsessed with water?" Hitomi clicked on her walkie-talkie, just as Dilandau did the splits. "Dilly, get your little booty back here. You are done!" Dilandau snapped out of his 'ballet trance' finding himself on the ground, doing the splits. "OUCH!!!!" He got up quickly. "What the hell has gotten into me!!!???" He then hooked his camera back up to himself, picked up his uniform, and ran back to the safe house, in the tutu. 

Dilandau stumbled into the safe house, hurriedly. Everyone exchanged glances, then looked at the very…pink, Dilandau. He narrowed his eyes. "Shut the hell up!" His face was now as pink as his tutu. Dilandau ran into the bathroom, extremely embarrassed, and changed into his lavender undershirt, and black leather pants. Hitomi eyed Dilandau playfully. "Was that fun, Dilly? I know you love to dress up, and dance." Dilandau glared at her out of the corner of his eye. "You all are asking for it! Tonight when we all go to sleep, you better watch your backs!" Hitomi then was surprised to hear the computer make a 'ding' sort of noise. "Congratulations. You have made it through night one! You may all go to sleep whenever you'd like, but be up by 9:00 tonight." Merle hopped up and down, "Yeah! We finished night one, and I didn't do anything!" Dilandau rubbed his hands together happily, "Yes! The night of the original prankster!" he said quietly. 

Everyone got into their sleeping bags…everyone except for Dilandau that is…and after about an hour…they were all asleep. During this hour…Dilandau was deep in thought…thinking of each 'punishment' for each of them. 'Folken…' he thought. 'What shall I do with him…' Dilandau got out a black magic marker, and drew all over Folken's face. He made a mustache, long girly eyelashes, and a smiley face on his cheek. He then walked over to Van. He pulled off his covers very, very carefully and took off his pants and his shirt, very, very carefully. He then doused them in ice water, and put them in the freezer. He tip-toed over to Merle's sleeping bag, and looked at her strangely, having no idea what to do…but he then sat down, and wrote her a love letter in his best 'Van handwriting' saying it was from her secret admirer. Finally, Dilandau inched over to Hitomi…yes…Hitomi "The bitch from the phantom moon." He whispered, reminiscing. He then got a bucket off poopy-green dye, and dyed Hitomi's hair. He grinned. "Yes…success…" He headed toward his own sleeping bag…anticipating the wonderful tomorrow…"You'll pay…for everything you've ever done to me." he said, and fell asleep. 

A/N: ::Clings to her kidnapped Dilly:: How'd you like that? It was quite fun to write! Well, if you like it REVIEW!!! For the Love of God! Oh, and if you have any more ideas for the upcoming chapters, please tell me!!! I need help! Dilly: Yeah…mentally! ~~~~Mel


	4. Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear, Chapter 4

Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear; Chapter 4

A/N: YEAH! Chapter 4 is F-I-N-A-L-L-Y here! I'm so sorry it took me a super-long time to put this out! Also, on the issue of Allen being booted early…I'm sorry Allen fans! It's just that, well…he was kinda getting in my way, and I had to boot him. You know how it goes…

Disclaimer: I own Dilandau…yes, I do. No body fight with me, okay? Nah, just kiddin' I only own…err…my odd mind. Everything else belongs to Sunrise, and those stone hedge people. Yup…

Hitomi slowly, but surely blinked awake. She looked around…everyone was still asleep. "They look so cute when they are asleep." She thought to herself. Hitomi looked down at her watch. "Oh, no wonder…it's only twelve o' clock…I mean we _did_ go to bed at like six." She then ran a finger through her hair…It was a bit…crunchy. "I thought I washed out my hair gel." She said aloud, but in a very quiet voice. She then ran to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and saw it…Yes…The poopy-brown hair. She screamed at the top of her lungs. "WHO DID THIS?!" Everyone woke up as well…all yawning and stretching…all accept Dilandau, who was cracking up as much, or more than when Van was afraid of the 'curtain ghost'. 

Van slid out of his sleeping bag, got up, and walked over to Hitomi. She screamed again. Van was in his lovely, white underpants. Dilandau was laughing even harder. "VAN! Why are you not wearing anything?!" Hitomi asked in a loud voice. Van flushed, and stuttered while he was speaking. "Um…Um…I SWEAR I went to…b-b-bed with clothes on!" He then dove into his sleeping bag, and started hyperventilating. Hitomi was enraged, about her hair's sudden change of – not only texture, but also color. Merle found the note next to her pillow, and read it hastily. "Van-sama loves me!!!" She yelled, as she pounced the large lump in Van's sleeping bag. (Van…no da.) Folken didn't really know anything had happened to him, until he stared straight at the cherry-faced Dilandau. He just…stared at Dilandau, without moving…blinking…smiling…anything, and this made Dilandau laugh even more. "What…did he do to me?" Folken asked aloud, and because no body answered, he ran to the mirror in the bathroom, seeing a green-haired Hitomi. Folken then choked on his labored sobs. "My face…! Damn you, Dilandau! I'm even starting to be as vain as you!" 

Everyone then found out the truth…and the cause behind their pranks…and quite frankly, the suspect did not feel guilty at all. Dilandau looked at the group. They were now crowding around him, with evil grins on their faces. "What comes around, goes around!" Hitomi said. Van nodded in agreement. "Yeah," Folken began, and then, for no apparent reason for all, he began humming, "Lady Marmalade." They were crowding in closer, and closer around the despairing pyro. Dilandau put his hands over his head. "You are not touching my hair! What I did, I did out of spite! You all deserved it for the mean things you did to me!" Van was not buying in to this. "What the hell are you babbling about? You burnt down my whole kingdom, you…you…weenie!" Dilandau looked at him with a tinge of curiousity. "Weenie? Are you freaking serious?" Hitomi smiled. "I have an idea…let's not hurt him, or anything…" She then paused, and finished her sentence in whispers, in the others' ears. 

Within thirty minutes, Dilandau found himself bound to yet another chair with duct tape. And not only was he stuck to the chair, but his face was covered in Hitomi's make-up. "You all will pay." He said with every possible ounce of serious-ness he could muster. Hitomi perkily bent over in front of him, waving a finger as if to scold him. "I don't think so, Miss Albatou. We are quite even now!" Dilandau squirmed in his chair. "Fine bitch! But when are you going to let me out of this cursed chair?!" Hitomi smiled slyly again. "No no no! You are going to have to be nicer than that, to get your butt out of that ever-so-comfortable chair." Dilandau slumped, and huffed, but all in vain, for he would not be released from that chair, until tonight's dares would begin. 

Nighttime fell faster than usual, considering that the 'threat' was safely contained in his chair. Every now and then, when Dilandau would get hungry they would throw him a piece of popcorn, or some other edible 'fun' sized snack, but other than that, the day was all…gravy. Well, anyway, darkness fell over the small school, and the computer informed the group that the first dare of night two was upon them. "This is a 'double' dare. Two people must complete it together, and they are BLUE, and BLACK...navigator PURPLE." Folken was happy, Hitomi...well...was not. Hitomi and Folken both got their camera equipment on, and were saying their bittersweet good-byes to fellow team mates. "Van. You have to watch over the safe house…make sure Dilandau stays taped to that chair!" Dilandau's voice could be heard. "But…but! Miss…" His voice lowered considerably. "Hitomi…you said you'd let me out!" Hitomi nodded. "That's more like it, Dilly. I'll let you out as soon as I get back. I promise." Hitomi's fingers were crossed behind her back. 

Hitomi and Folken walked quickly to the abandoned school. Merle waited over the other end of the walkie-talkie for Hitomi's signal. Hitomi clicked over to Merle, "Okay Merle, we are here at the school, what now?" Merle scrolled down on the computer. "Okay, go to the music room, which is located at the third story of the building." Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Merle! You have to give us exact directions." Merle nodded, and meowed. "Okay, open the main doors, and you will see a narrow flight of stairs in front of you, go up those stairs." The couple walked up the stairs…the whole time, Folken was clinging to Hitomi with fright. "Are you there?" Merle asked. Folken and Hitomi reached the top of the stairs, when Hitomi felt a pressure against her, which felt like someone pushing her. This sent her rolling backward, down the stairs, and in the meantime, taking Folken down with her. They landed at the bottom with a loud 'thud'. 

Hitomi got off of Folken quickly. "OUCH!!!!" He yelled. "That really hurt! Lay off the candy, Hitomi!" Hitomi shot a glare at Folken. "I'm sorry, but I felt somebody push me…Oh well…thanks for being my cushion, Folken." Folken got up, scratching the back of his head, and blushing. "Aw…it was nothing." They continued up the stairs. This time, Folken walked in front. "Okay!" Folken's voice boomed over the walkie-talkie, startling Merle. "Walk up the next two flights of stairs, and then when you are there, walk into room number seven-A." Folken and Hitomi slowly made their way to the music room. Folken then heard a squeak, and nearly jumped on top of Hitomi's head. "Tomi! I'm really scared! You go first!" Merle giggled a bit as she read their dare to herself. "Merle! What's our dare?" Hitomi asked, in a rushed tone. Merle gave a delayed answer…

A/N: HA HA HA! Cliffhanger! Now everyone wants to know the dare…but they have to wait! ^_^ I'm so sorry about that! Oh well…you guys will live! I'll put the next chapter out soon, and PLEASE REVIEW!!! COURTESY!!! ::makes a cute puppy-ish face:: PWEASE? 

P.S. SORRY!!! I FORGOT TO MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT VAN'S CLOTHES! JUST ASSUME HE GOT THEM BACK, OKAY? ^_~


	5. Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear, Chapter 5

Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear; Chapter 5

Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear; Chapter 5

A/N: Holy freaking Pete! It's been far too long since I've written the last chapter. Really, really long. A deathly amount of long. It's been a few months. Wow. I am so sorry to everyone. So sorry. That was evil of me to say that this chapter was coming out soon. I really didn't intend for it to be a lie. Honest! I also apologize if my writing skills have gotten a tad bit rusty. Well, anywho…the reason that I haven't written in so long, is because, as sad as it sounds, my love for Escaflowne died. But now, I've finally decided to think of the fans! All…two of them! o.o; Well, without further ado, here is…Escaflowne Meets MTV's Fear; Chapter 5!

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone! So poo! X_X Escaflowne and everything else that I mention that is big, scary, and can sue me belongs to their respective owners! 

After the short delay, Hitomi got a bit angered with Merle. "You stupid cat!!! Just tell us the dare!" Merle grinned slyly, "What's wrong, Hitomi? Women problems?" Hitomi reddened, as her voice became considerably louder over the walkie-talkie. "MERLE! Just…tell…us…the….dare!" Hitomi yelled, repeating herself slowly and clearly. Merle giggled, "Fine, fine…You're dare is…" She paused. Hitomi heaved with anger. "STOP DOING THAT!!!!" Folken, who had been very silent during Hitomi's conversation with Merle backed away slowly. Merle clung to her ear in pain. "Ouch! Do you have to keep on yelling?!" Hitomi rolled her eyes. "I won't yell, if you say the dare." She said in a composed manor. Merle had no choice but to tell Hitomi, after all, she was just wasting time. "Okay. See that piano in the corner?" Hitomi nodded, "Yeah." Merle continued. "BLACK has to play the role as…" Merle stumbled over the next word. "…pi-an-is-t..? And…" Before Merle could finish, Folken interrupted her, wide-eyed. "I have to play the role of WHAT?!" Hitomi looked at Folken with curiousity, "Pianist. What's wrong with that?" Folken settled down a bit. "Oh…okay. Didn't hear the 't'." Hitomi looked at Folken, now crossly. "…hentai." Merle continued. "Then, as BLACK plays the pi-an-o, BLUE must sing…dancing is optional." 

Hitomi smiled, and winked. "Sounds easy enough!" She sat on the floor for a minute, and stretched her legs out, looking very professional. Folken blew a small amount of dust off of the piano, a pressed a key. He jumped back at the sound it made, with a girlish squeal. "This…'pie a no' is scary." He said, looking down at it. In the middle of yet another stretch Hitomi looked at Folken and sighed. "Just sit down and play! You whine too much." With a quiet 'eep', Folken sat down at the piano hastily. He ran his hands over the keys, pressed them down, and sounded horrible. Hitomi fell over. "You can't do any better than THAT?! You suck!" Folken started sniffling. "I'm trying! I've never even heard of a pie a no before! You expect me to be an expert or something!" He took a Kleenex out of his cape, and blew his nose loudly. Hitomi thought for a few minutes about what song she was going to sing, then instantly a song popped into her mind. She cleared her throat, and used the walkie-talkie as a microphone. "Okay, Folken when I say go, you just press the lowest key and the highest key over, and over. Got it?" Folken looked at her suspiciously, then nodded, throwing his Kleenex aside. "Go!" Folken began hitting the keys. 

Hitomi held the microphone close. "Hmmmmm…" Hitomi paused. "I'm goin down, down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover, Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go, Shimmy shimmy cocoa what? Listen to it pound. Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now!" Folken, who had stopped on the piano long ago, gaped at Hitomi, who was rapping with perfect precision. Hitomi also executed all of the hand gestures as accurately as possible. The others back at the safe house listened as well, in silenced awe. Hitomi then continued her flawless rap. "Mmmmm, you can find me, in St. Louis rollin on dubs Smokin on dubs in clubs, blowin up like cocoa puffs. Sippin Bud, gettin perved and getting dubbed. Daps and hugs, mean mugs and shoulder shrugs. And it's all because, 'ccumulated enough scratch just to navigate it, wood decorated on chrome and it's candy painted, fans fainted - while I'm entertainin Wild ain't it? How me and money end up hangin. I hang with Hannibal Lector. So feel me when I bring it Sing it loud! I'm from the Loop and I'm proud!" Hitomi stopped when she noticed not only the pervading silence, but also Folken staring at her wide-eyed, and with his mouth open. She responded to the eerie silence with a weak chuckle. 

After Hitomi had broken the silence, she listened to the walkie-talkie. What she heard was Dilandau, laughing like the maniac he was, Van quite confused by it all, yet clapping for her, and Merle who simply said, "Hitomi? Are you all right?" Dilandau got up, dragging with him the chair that he was still stuck to, and yanked the walkie-talkie out of Merle's hand. "You had better hurry back, Hitomi! I want out of this damned chair!!" Merle then pried the walkie-talkie out of Dilandau's hand and kicked him, unintentionally sending him falling backwards, landing on his back, (or rather, the chair) and not being able to get up. Both Van and Merle laughed hysterically as Dilandau kicked and struggled, trying to get up. "DAMMIT! I will kill you all! Every last one of you!" He yelled. Merle clicked the walkie-talkie back on, "Okay, Tomi-kins. You can bring Folken and come back to the safe house now." Hitomi sweatdropped. "T-Tomi-kins?! What the heck is that about?" She asked Merle, in a strange tone. After Merle didn't respond, Hitomi happily began walking out of the room. "Folken! Come on!" She said to Folken, who was inspecting the piano with much curiousity. "Hmm…pie a no. We should invent these on Gaea!" Hitomi and Folken left the room. 

As the couple walked down the stairs, the piano began playing 'Fur Elise' all by itself. Folken let out a very girlish scream, and tripped down the stairs, barreling over poor Hitomi. They both landed on the bottom of the staircase again with a 'thud'. This time Hitomi was the cushion. "Ouch!!!" She said, giving Folken a death glare. He quickly got off of her. "Let's just go back to the safe house, okay?" He said with fear written all over his face. They both ran out of the all boy's ballet academy with desperation. 

After much running through dew soaked grass, Folken and Hitomi reached the safe house, panting. They then barged through the door, only to walk in on what looked like anarchy. Dilandau, still on his back, looking much like a turtle. Merle, who was throwing un-popped popcorn kernels at the helpless warlord, and finally Van, who was gripping his stomach from laughing so much. Hitomi and Folken sweatdropped. "What is going on here..?" Hitomi asked, afraid to find out the answer. Dilandau responded with. "Damn…kill…burn…death…stop laughing at me." Van just continued to laugh. Merle, who was the only one mentally stable enough to answer said, "He fell over. I thought it would be funny to throw popcorn kernels at him. It was funny. Lord Van started laughing…a lot." Merle paused for a minute. "I think this trip is making us loose our minds…I mean…since when could you sing like that, Hitomi?" Hitomi sweatdropped again, and looked down at Dilandau. "You think I should cut him free?" Dilandau looked at Hitomi for a moment. "Cut me free…Please?" Hitomi then kneeled down to him, grabbed a nearby pair of scissors, and cut him free. "There." She said. Dilandau hopped out of his chair, with much glee, ran a few laps around the room, then came back to the point where his chair was, and tripped over it. "DAMMIT!" He cursed. After a few more hours of senseless conversations, the group fell asleep, awaiting the next night. 

A/N: Okay, okay. It wasn't one of my BEST chapters, but at least it's finally up! Show some mercy, onegai? Well, anyway…PLEASE REVIEW! It only takes about three seconds! All you have to type is one word, and I'll be happy. ^.^ Once again, I apologize for the oh-so-lengthy delay for this chapter! 

Lot's and Lot's of Love,

Mel ^.~ 

  


  



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